The Internal Struggle - The World vs God

Anger, frustration, spite – these are normal emotional responses when someone hurts, offends or disrespects us.  What’s not normal, is responding with kindness, love and compassion. 

Matthew 5:39-48:

39 But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. 40“If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. 41“Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. 42“Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

      43“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ 44“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46“For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47“If you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Does God really want us to respond with kindness when someone spreads lies, takes advantage of us, or hurts our feelings?  Yes and NO.  Yes he wants us to be kind but if i read the above scripture right, he wants us to go BEYOND kindness, he wants us to “go the extra mile.”  God calls us to love everyone, at all times. 

Over the last month I have struggled with this more than I care to share.  Someone used a social media site to attack me without naming me.  I was quiet at first.  Not because I was being the “bigger” person, but because I don’t like confrontation.  As the day went on, and the comments were made, I felt as if I needed to defend myself.  As I wrote my response, I felt an internal struggle start.  I knew I would regret it if I posted it, but I didn't start it, I was only defending myself.  I felt as if the person needed to know how I felt, why I did what I did, etc.  Did I speak lies? No, but I wasn't nice.  I didn't turn the other cheek.  I didn't respond as God would have wanted me to. 

The moment I hit post, I regretted it.  It was unlike me to be so bold or to stand-up for myself.  I had hoped that I would have felt relieved but I didn't.  I felt terrible.  I am firm believer in not ranting or attacking people on social media sites.  It is better to go to the person directly and address whatever issue(s) you have or do what I do, say nothing and stew about it quietly.  I did exactly what I hate.  I attacked someone, was unkind and I did it on Facebook.

A few of my friends read the post and patted me on my back.  They were surprised by my response and supported my decision to finally stand up for myself.  So the internal struggle continued.  Was I wrong?  If I wasn't, why did I feel so terrible?  As the hours went on and I pondered what had happened, I couldn't get the voice in my head to stop telling me how wrong I was.  I kept justifying my actions and words but the voice was persistent. 

I prayed that night for God’s forgiveness and grace.  I didn't deserve either but I desperately wanted them.  I confessed to him all my wrong doings and asked for peace over the situation.  As I woke the next day the pit in my stomach was still there and I “heard” God telling me how to handle this situation.  I needed to apologize.  But why?  I didn't want to!  I wasn't sorry for what I said, but I was sorry for the way I said it and where I said it.  Either way, I knew I had to apologize because I responded as the world would respond. I didn't respond as God wanted me to respond.  I didn't turn the other cheek.  I didn't show Gods love.  If I am a child of God, I need to act as one.  I knew if I ignored Gods direction I would be miserable.  I would continue to be filled with anger, distress and guilt.  So I did the thing I didn't want to do and I apologized. 

I am thankful God is willing to direct me and correct me when I am wrong.  I need to learn to listen to His direction in the midst of my actions, rather than after the fact.  If I claim to be a Christian, I should achieve to be Christ like.  I need to love like Christ, to treat others like Christ would and to turn the other cheek.  Far too often we listen to the world and follow their example, but we don’t answer to the world, we answer to God.  While the world may tell us its okay to act a certain way, say certain things, etc. we must remember who we answer to and His desires and expectations.