Over the last few years I watched as a relationship I once loved turn bitter and cold. I was angry with a person; they were angry with me. There was no communication between us around the anger; no attempt to resolve what was once a great friendship. I avoided talking about the issues with this person because I hate confrontation and perhaps I didnt want to hear what I did to cause her hurt. I consider myself to be a loving and kind person, but at times I was just the opposite.
I felt God telling me to reconcile this relationship. "Go to her and correct what you have done" I heard several times. Be loving, be kind, be Christ like. I knew God wasnt pleased with me and this situation. I also knew that I couldnt ask for Gods grace, mercy and forgiveness if I myself couldnt lend that same grace, mercy and forgiveness.
After resisting for a few months, I decided to right what was wrong. I asked the person to meet me in a public place so we could talk. To my relief, and perhaps disappointment, they agreed. (Why disappointment? Like I said, I hate confrontation, but I knew this was the right thing to do.)
This meeting could have started one of two ways. I could have sited every heart ache, every unkind act and every harsh word she said and she could have done the same. OR I could wave the white flag, apologize and ask for forgiveness. What should I do? What would Christ do?
I decided the best approach was to wave the flag and ask for forgiveness. I looked this person in the eye and said, "We once were friends but over the last few years things have changed. I dont know how we got to this point but I want us to be friends again. I dont want to hash out every wrong that has been done. Rather I want to forgive, forget and rebuild. I am sorry for my role in the destruction of our friendship." To my relief she apologized and accepted my apology.
I cant describe the healing power of "am sorry." I felt the healing begin when I said I was sorry. I felt it again when she said she was sorry. I felt healing continue as we sat for a short period of time and caught up on each other lives.
So if saying these two simple words can bring such healing, why arent we required to say it to those we love? Why do watch relationships dissolve? Is it our pride? Is it because they are more wrong than you? Is it because they need to say it first? Am sure there are a million reasons why. But there is one reason to say it. Christ. Christ has forgiven you. He died for you. And to be blunt, HE EXPECTS YOU TO FIX THE WRONGS THAT HAVE BEEN DONE.
- Matthew 6:14-15, For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
- 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
- 2 Corinthians 2: 7-11, So you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.
- 1 John 3:15, Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don't have eternal life within them.
Saying "am sorry" is rarely easy but can bring healing beyond measure.
I can't even begin to tell you how much I needed to read this today! I've been fighting the thought of forgiving someone, when really I need to be the person the make the first step!! SO thankful for your obedient heart!!
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